Nick didn’t know that I called in to work today, so when he came home around 11:30 for his lunch break he was a little shocked to find me at home making eggs, sausage and fruit salad.
I heard the door open at the bottom of the stairs so I turned John Mayer down a couple clicks and walked over to the stairs. Nick took his coat off and handed me a card that came from the vet regarding the loss of his 12 year old Belgian Shepherd, Ares. “It’s a really nice card,” he said.
I opened it and read a few of the notes inside. “That is a really nice card,” I said and I set it down on the counter. He hugged me. Noticing I was in a long sleeve shirt and underwear he said, “You didn’t go to work today?”
I told him I was in a lot of pain from moving the last few days and decided to take a vacation day. He kissed me and sat down at the table.
“Do you want some eggs?” I asked.
I made him a plate of waffles and strawberries and brought over the whipped cream and syrup. When the eggs and sausage were done I scooped some out of the pan onto his syrupy plate and sat down with my own next to him. “I like John Mayer,” I said as Emoji Of A Wave started playing. I took a bite of my eggs.
“I like him too. Did you put that seasoning in the eggs?”
“Yeah I think it’s really good.”
He agreed and asked me what my plans were for the day. I told him my ideas, and when he finished his brunch and swallowed a few gulps of juice he put the cup down in front of me and said I could have the rest. I told him he had some syrup on his chin and he wiped it with a napkin and asked, “did I get it?” I nodded and smiled.
“I gotta go, baby,” he said as he stood up from his chair. He set his dishes in the sink and then put his coat back on and kissed me. “I love you, thanks for lunch” he said, and then he turned to the cat and rubbed her belly while playfully telling her how ferocious she is.
He picked her up and put her on his chest, her front legs over his shoulder. He rubbed her head and gave her kisses before putting her down and saying to me again, “I love you, baby.”
“I love you, too,” I said. And then he walked down the stairs and returned to work.
I remained seated in the chair for a few minutes after he’d left, just sitting there wrapped in a blanket in my underwear with just-dried-shower-hair that I hadn’t even brushed yet, smiling like an idiot in the dining room, our messy kitchen behind me.
I didn’t care, and he didn’t care either. The longer I sat there the luckier I felt.
I thought about the last half hour, and I felt lucky that he wasn’t mad I called into work. He chose to trust that I’m doing what’s right for my body and the baby. He chose to focus on me feeling well instead of the 8 hours taken away from my paycheck this week.
I felt lucky that he looked at me the same way he would have if I were in my favorite outfit with makeup on and neat hair. Instead of teasing me about having frizzy unkept hair, no bra on, and annoying pregnancy acne, he just looked at me, not all the rest, and I feel so lucky that I can be comfortable exactly as I am in front of him. I’m not hair and makeup to him, I’m me, and he is him.
I felt lucky that he took interest in my plans for the day, and expressed gratitude for the food I made him. I felt lucky that he snuggled my cat, whom I also love so much. I felt lucky that he wasn’t stressed about the mess in the house from the rest of the stuff we moved in the past couple days and haven’t been able to put away yet.
I felt lucky that he told me how much he loved me before he went back to work. I realized that I feel lucky because I am. I’m so lucky that I get to build this life with someone who teaches me everyday to focus my attention on the important things in life, and to expend less energy on all the stuff that doesn’t matter.